I always wanted to try psychedelics but hadn’t been in the right place and time. Well…my impromptu three-month stay in Colombia got me to tick off one of my bucket lists—having the first ayahuasca. The plant medicine took my curious mind to a trip of internal conversation. Here is the rundown of my personal experience of the journey.
Frankly, the pursuit didn’t come to my mind after settling in with the new day-to-day routines in Bogotá. Then I started researching: legality of the substance in Colombia—cleared; availability of retreats—mostly conducted in Medellín (a chance of a getaway to another city); and timing—billable work hadn’t revved up yet. The right place and time had come.
The Preps
During making a decision, the main concern was the THC in my body. I talked to Ayahuasca Retreat Guacamayo and got an explanation that led me to a week of canna-butter break. In that case, I might have an alcohol break as well.
After signing in with them for three nights and two ceremonies, there was an offer to participate in the Psychedelic Ceremony Study by Imperial College London. I grabbed the opportunity. It was the least I could contribute to this field of academic research that had been marginalised for decades.
I answered the first survey on the day before leaving for Medellín. The questionnaires triggered my past issues but potentially gave me something to work on internally in the ceremonies. At the apartment, while filling in my inputs, particularly on family matters, the electricity was suddenly cut off, and so was the wifi router. I moved to the gym to get the Internet access and started over. Again, the power fluctuated (not common in Bogotá though) and I had to redo it for the third time. Yeah…that was more than enough of revisiting those childhood memories. Astrologically speaking, it was the day Mercury started stationing retrograde. It was a classic Mercury retrograde manifestation: technology malfunction and reexaminations in thoughts.
The Retreat
In Medellín, there was only one full day to explore the city. I broke the alcohol fast and had a blast in its nightlife. Consequently, I travelled to the retreat facility in a car with a hangover. At the gate, anxiety kicked in even though I knew it was the point of no return.
The First Night
Anyhow, the anxiety was dissipated when we got in and settled. I was in awe of the stunning landscape. There were heaps of wildlife and plants to appreciate. My sweet spot was discovered at 1,900 metres above the sea level. This place was the testimonial that Colombia was one of the most bio-diverse countries on the planet. For the first time, I’d seen a hummingbird in real life.
Later in the evening, we gathered in a circle to get to know each other. I briefly share stories about my unstable childhood in Bangkok, the struggle with depression during the Sydney years (revisiting My Reflection in 2009 post reminded me how I climbed out of that hole and got me emotional), and the recent years of travelling as a digital nomad.
The first night, I slept terribly and got up early. Catching dawn got me to listen to the morning bird calls, join one of my fellow guests’ ritual chant, play with the house dogs, and spot some big gum trees around. They could not be mistaken for the distinctive soft layered barks and crescent-shaped leaves. They made me think a lot about my second home—Australia. Mixed emotions ran through me.
The First Ceremony
The first ceremony started late in the evening. Before taking the first cup of ayahuasca, I kinda summoned the astrology planets to show up by writing it down in the notebook. Would it work? We’d see in a few hours. The room was unlit and quiet to let the plant work in the system. About 30 minutes later, I purged. That was the least pleasurable of the process but necessary. The musicians started playing their songs through the night.
I went outside to the sweet spot. The landscape connected me to nature. A voice of affirmation told me I was on the right path. Regarding my concerns, “It’s about THEM not YOU!”, the voice validated. But self-doubts knocked on the door, “So if I’m on the right path, what am I doing here?” No answer…
Then the second wave of nausea and dizziness hit. I lied a bit and turned down the second cup. That was uncharacteristic for a Sagittarian like me who tends to overdo things. However, not topping up the second cup, I got mindful but restless, going inside for stretches and outside for the view. At some point, the sky was clear and a shooting star flashed above me—another first time. It wasn’t a hallucination, I was certain.
Later, they performed a personal cleansing ceremony for me. The shaman and his team circled me with their chants and tobacco smoke (not cigarettes). When not chanting, the room was filled with the angelic voice of one of the singers. That process and the thought of the gum trees warped me back to a docuseries, Going Bush Ep. 3, when elders performed a smoking ceremony for iconic first Australians: Deborah Mailman and Kathy Freeman. That scene has stuck in my aspiration since. Now, two ancient indigenous cultures tapped me into a spiritual state with their plants: one with the chemical (DMT) and another with a mental bond. They made me tremble as hard as the two in the show. The answers of the night were just right there with acceptance and gratitude.
The next thing I knew, it was dawn. The shaman and the band left. Most guests went to bed. Meanwhile, I was still widely awake trying to digest the experience of the past several hours while gazing at fog movement in the valley. That wasn’t a good idea. By the time I finished contemplating, breakfast was served, followed by a circle sharing, and lunch. Eventually, I hit the bed in the afternoon.
I did overdo it. Typical me. Argh!!!!!!
Next page for the Second Ceremony